Lost Little Girl
by TheBlackForest
Summary: She wasn't the strong, mature woman she thought she was, she was just a lost little girl and it would be better for everyone if she were dead. And then the lost little girl lost herself to darkness. Oneshot character study on Terra.
**Author's Note: This is a oneshot for Terra, whom was my second least favorite character on this show, but apparently all my fanfictions go to her. This is basically about her background, which they did not cover in the show. Also, I never did learn Terra's mother's name. So, hopefully you enjoy, please review and favorite if you did. If you didn't, please leave constructive reviews, no flames.**

 **This is Tara's knowledge, so she does think BB betrayed her though he didn't...**

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 _"A sad soul can kill you quicker, far quicker than a germ."_ -John Steinbeck.

 _"The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated."_ -William James.

 _"Hatred and sorrow are power,they are yours to control. All you have to do is turn them into strength and use that strength to move forward."_ -Sebastian Michaelis.

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Tara Markov was nine when her mother told her the truth about her father. Her father was King Viktor of Markovia, who sent her mother away to America when they discovered she was pregnant. Tara was an 'illegitimate' child, a fancy word for accidental and unwanted. Another word for children like her was bastards. She'd asked her mother why her father had sent them away, and why he had never contacted them. _"Your father didn't want to risk the disgrace. But one day, Tara, he will recognize you and love you just as much as I do."_ Tara decided that she wouldn't wait for her father to recognize her, she would become so great that her father would have no choice but to recognize her as his daughter.

Whenever she took breaks from studying, she would look up her father, stepmother, and half-brothers, and though there was the ever present ache to be a part of that family, there was another ache. An ache that begged to know why her brothers were more deserving of their fathers' love and recognition than her? When she was thirteen, she realized her mother had lied to her: her father would never recognize her, or love her the way he did her brothers. That was the day her heart filled with hatred for her father and half-brothers.

Ironically, the only gift her father ever gave her was the same gift she would use to become so much more than the everyday common person. When she was sixteen, she discovered she could control the earth. Her powers terrified everyone in the town, and her mother told her to run and hide where no one could find her. Tara knew this was her chance, and she decided that she would use her powers to become a hero. Though she told herself it was so she could help others, deep down she knew it was so she could become so great and famous her father would beg for her to accept him as her father, and she would spit on him and leave. She took on the name _Terra_ , for the Roman mother goddess of earth.

Despite her best intentions and efforts, disaster followed her no matter where she went. Whenever she tried to help, it always wound up blowing up in her face. Still, her determination was as firm as the earth she controlled. Then she met the Teen Titans, and for a while she forgot about her family. The Teen Titans were her family, and she realized maybe she didn't need her father to know about her at all. She had the family she'd always wanted, they accepted her and loved her like family. The only bad thing about her life was the fear of losing control and her friends rejecting her the way her father had.

Then Beast Boy told Robin about her not having control. Her trust was shattered, and she ran away from the family she thought she'd found. But then that was her curse, to ever seek family and help others, but always fail and be rejected. Slade could change that, however. He would give her control, and she would make them accept her. So she went to the only person who had ever sought her out: Slade.

He was the father she'd never had. He trained to be better, to be stronger, to not be some weak little girl. He gave her the power to destroy the Titans. Sure, he punished her when she failed, but every good father did that. She was overjoyed when he told her to destroy the Titans, to punish those liars. They called themselves heroes, but they were no better than the criminals they fought. They didn't help people, they hurt them. They'd said they were her family, and lied.

In the end, however, she realized the truth. The Titans weren't the problem, she was. She had always been a problem, a problem to her parents, a problem to the people she tried to help, and in the end...a traitor to the only real family she'd ever known. Her need for love and family and fear of rejection had been her downfall. She wasn't the strong, mature woman she thought she was, she was just a lost little girl and it would be better for everyone if she were dead.

The only good thing she'd ever done was sacrifice her life to kill Slade and save the city. It wasn't even that big a sacrifice since her life was worthless to everyone except Beast Boy.

Beast Boy. Only when it was too late did she realize he was the only one who made her feel whole, who made her feel wanted and important. Even when tried to do her one good act and sacrifice herself, she still hurt the one she loved most.

And then the little girl lost herself to darkness.

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 **A/N: Pretty good, I think. But what did you think? Penny for your thoughts in a review. Hope ya enjoyed, have a good day!**


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